The Pull
by WeAreShippers
Summary: (AU). She is afraid of death, and finally death is the only way she finds to live. And to love.
1. 37 seconds of coincidence

**Well, I'm back. I know that I have two open stories, and that I am in a break with FCDIB, but don't worry because I will come back soon (I always come back, don't I?). This? An experiment of my crazy head, because everyone has the right to experiment. This story is rare, and you might be surprised about what happens at the end of the first chapter, but I just will say that THIS makes sense, so don't worry. HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY THIS :D**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't.**

**...**

_**Keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.**_

_**- Walt Whitman -**_

**Part I: Coincidences.**

"Core and skull; is the pull."

**I: 37 seconds of coincidence. (A little bit of Emily's mind).**

She had always been afraid of death.

It was almost an obsessive thing for her, and because of the fear - or shame, that didn't matter at all - she had never told anyone about it.

Some nights - when those dreams full of death, blood and pain filled her head - she woke up so startled and anxious, trying to take a deep breath and regulate her own breathing until she was calmed enough. Then, she stared at her right where her sister slept and she closed her eyes, more calmed down. Those nights, she didn't sleep at all and that night was one of those nights. The worst was her own mind and thoughts, that poisoned her and filled her head with agony and terror.

Fear of thinking that at any moment everything would arrive to the end. That really, at any moment everything could end.

That wasn't something that had appeared so suddenly in her life... her fear had a cause, a reason buried deep in her heart.

And yeah. It still hurt, but she didn't want to think about it anymore.

She squeezed the huge quilt that covered her bed with her sweaty hands and she opened her eyes, swallowing. The vast darkness that was covering her room had never scared her at all and yet that night she felt like she was afraid of everything.

As if she had brushed the death with her fingers.

For the first time in her 20 years she felt a great desire to wake her sister and explain her what was going on; why she had that awful mood some mornings and why she fell sleep at those high and insane hours. Why she couldn't withstand that scary movies and why she had the disgusting habit of squeezing any fabric with her hands: her own shirts, blankets, jackets... whatever. Anything.

Why she was so manic. Why her life seemed more intense than the others' lifes. Why she never interacted with anyone if her sister wasn't involved.

Why she didn't understand **friendship.**

Why she didn't understand **love.**

Why she didn't understand **life at all.**

Many of those questions hadn't answers - for fear, basically. _'Fear'_ was the most constant word in her life.

Fear. Fear, fear and more fear.

The hours went by and the darkness became a thread of light, and she said goodbye to another night where she hadn't slept so much. At least, it was reassuring to know that Katie, her sister, was right by her side - snoring quietly, by the way - and those snores would remain there for a few more minutes.

Because if Katie wasn't there...

And she thought, of course she did. She thought until Katie woke up with a long yawn; then she pretended that she was sleeping as every fucking morning.

And some minutes later, the sound of Katie's clothes used hit the floor, as she always got in the shower before her. She cherished those minutes to think a little bit more, until Katie really _'woke her up'_.

That morning was different though, because she wasn't at her tiny bed in her tiny flat in London, where she lived with her sister. She was in Bristol - in her old house where she used to live with her parents when she was a young child, with Katie and her young brother James - after those Christmas holidays and that morning she was going to catch a train to London again.

She took a deep breath and stood up, taking the suitcase that was under the bed and opening it to see if everything was prepared for her departure. She took the three or four pieces of clothing that she was going to use during that day and she took a look at her little pack of cigarrettes because she wanted to smoke so bad in her old room and she just couldn't.

Anxiety.

At that time, Katie entered in the room wrapped in a towel and she did the same than her; she opened her suitcase to grab some clothing.

"Good morning." She said, cheerfully and Emily tried to smile but she couldn't. Anyway, she replied her with the same quote and stormed out to go to the bathroom and have a nice shower.

It was so early in the morning but she didn't mind, because the thing she loved the most in her days was when the sun came out. It meant that there were still so many hours for the night to come and that, damn, that was so good.

Like every morning, she undressed herself and she got her right foot in the tub, parsimonious. After regulating the water, the shower drops trickled through her hair and soaked her from head to toe - as if she were getting rid of all those thoughts. She needed a shower every morning and she tried not to think about absolutely anything while she was inside the bath. It was even a purifying ritual.

She spreaded the soup through her body, so slowly, and she closed her eyes and imagined that she was somewhere else.

In a place where the words _'fear'_ and _'death'_ didn't exist.

"EMILY, BREAKFAST IS READY!"

(And Katie used to interrupt those little moments of calmness and it made her so fucking angry, but she couldn't complain when she had to catch a train in an hour and a half, could she?)

She sighed and muttered a _'shit'_, and when she opened her eyes she replied her sister. "Just give me five fucking minutes!"

"OK, but hurry up or we will be so late!"

So after those few minutes, she turned off the water and touched several times the counter where she had left her towel - it was useless, since the towel was on the other side of the counter and she wouldn't reach it even if she extended her arm, because the truth was that she was a very short girl.

A petite redhead.

She put her feet on the carpet and the first thing she did was to wipe her face with that towel, sighing. Then, she stared at the mirror to take a look at herself - as every morning, because she loved to stare at her own body.

She felt a little bit alive, doing that.

Emily checked her phone to watch what time it was and her deep brown eyes widened. "FUCK." In less than five minutes she was in the kitchen (with a completely wet hair and no makeup, but who the hell would care?) The hood of her gray jacket was placed over her head and she picked up an apple, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek.

"Your father has packed the bags in the car. They are waiting for you, come on hurry up!"

She went to the door and before leaving, she turned around. "Say goodbye to James for me, okay?"

Her mother was doing the dishes while she was listening to Take That. '_Some things would never change'_, Emily thought, watching at that typical scene of when she was a little child. "Have a good trip, honey."

Katie was already waiting for her, leaning against the back of her father's huge 4x4. "Hell, it's about time. Thought the floor had swallowed you or something, have you seen what fucking time is it?"

She rolled her eyes because sometimes she couldn't stand the quality that had her sister to exaggerate almost everything - she never could and she never would.

"Piss off." She murmured, getting on the back of the car and closing the door. Robert sighed.

"Not now, girls. You will have time to argue on the train."

Katie scoffed. "That if we catch the train, because your DAUGHTER-"

"KATHERINE." Said Robert, turning on the car engine and speeding.

Emily adapted her headphones to her mobile and she put them on, not wanting to talk to Katie. She was so fucking annoying, sometimes.

A bit of rock music, and looking out the window, she left behind those sites that reminded her of her childhood. She could not help but sigh and almost maniacally, she grabbed the fabric of the sleeves of her gray sporty jacket, squeezing them with her fingers.

Soon, they arrived to Temple Meaks - the Bristol's most important train station. Emily stared at the screen of her phone, to watch that they had more than twenty minutes, so she sighed a little bit relaxed. They were going to catch the train that went to Paddington's Station, in London and Katie was so excited because she was a 'big cities girl' and she hated Bristol with all her strenght, so she had a great desire to get on that train and leave that haunted city.

Robert helped them with the luggage and before leaving them there, he opened his arms to embrace his two daughters. "Be careful out there, huh? And when you'll arrive to London, call your mother. You know how she cares."

"We will, dad."

Both Emily and Katie, grabbed her suitcase and headed towards the door of the station. The younger of them had a great desire to tell her sister that she did not need to ride much drama, since they had arrived in time but it was the best to shut up. Both showed their tickets to a man who was controlling, and he passed them by an electronic machine that made an annoying 'beep'. The two continued to walk along the station platform because the train hadn't arrived yet. Emily sighed. "Even a fucking cigarette."

"Have you heard of cancer or something like that?" Said Katie, dryly and she closed her eyes and took a long breath because if she didn't, she would slap her sister in order to make her shut up.

Luckily, the train arrived before time and they both ended up sitting at the end of a carriage, the suitcases on the top of the train and both with views to the window.

And thank God that Katie put on her headphones, because Emily had no desire to talk with her. Not Katie, not anyone else at all. She turned to put the hood of her jacket on her head and she entertained herself playing _Flappy Birds_ on her mobile, waiting for the train to go.

Then a shrill voice - that came from a girl, obviously - distracted her and she turned her head to see a girl arguing with a man with a scowl.

"You know? Fuck off."

The girl raised her middle finger to the man and she went to the adjoining seats where they were sitting. Emily couldn't help but smile and she shook her head from side to side, returning her attention to that crappy and addictive game.

She was bored, though. She never passed more than seven or eight lines with her bird, so she finished the game off in frustration and she put her headphones on her ears.

The train began to move slowly and she curled up on the seat. Minutes, only an hour and some minutes to get to London, a city that - and thank God for that - kept her very busy.

The train conductor came a few minutes later, she opened her eyes because she had fallen half asleep in her seat. Normal, if she couldn't sleep at all by the night. "Oh... here." She said whilst searching the ticket - clumsily - in her bag. The man nodded at her when he saw the ticket and he continued his way, and Emily could see that Katie was a little self-absorbed, reading a magazine.

She arched her body and looked to her right.

_Brown met blue._

Emily felt a strange sensation in her chest. As if someone had hit her and setted her on fire all at the same time. She could not help but swallow, never taking her eyes off the girl who also looked at her with a smile on her lips.

Then she remembered. The way her sister entered in their flat every afternoon - after University or whatever she was doing - and she explained to Emily that she had _'fallen in love again'_ on the way home on the subway.

All those evenings when she had thrown a few laughs at the expense of the big amorous pussy that was her sister.

The most fucked up thing was experiencing something she didn't believe at all - because damn, her heart was beating so fucking fast.

She'd love to get up and sit beside her, having no idea about what to do or what to say - and **just by having her closer.**

She hadn't the courage to do that and she cursed a little to herself, staring at her for a second. As if those two huge blue irises were challenging her the _'see who looks away before'_ game.

She returned the smile, but.

She watched as the blonde girl looked away to take a look out her window, with that absurd but amazingly beautiful smile on her lips and Emily - and it was very stupid to think that way, but she could think of anything she wanted to, couldn't she? - had won. She felt like she had won that silly battle between herself and the unknown blonde.

_'Damn, you're sick, Emily._' Emily thought while - just for inertia - she fixed her eyes on the other girl again.

She was clearly the girl who had argued with that older man, just when Emily turned around for the first time she didn't notice how '_beautiful_' she was. Completely stunning.

She didn't need more than two seconds to pass her eyes by the legs of the other girl, who was wearing a nice gray skinny jeans, to know that she was actually - and at least - an inch taller than her.

Older? She didn't know, because the girl seemed to be in her twenties but maybe she just looked younger than she really was, or maybe older, so she didn't think about that.

She focused her attention back to her mobile phone to change the song that was playing, and she smiled as it started one of those songs that she had begun to like a lot, lately: '_Midnight_' by Coldplay.

Katie was staring out the window, distracted, and she thought that it was absurd to continue crossed with each other, but she bit his tongue, because she just couldn't start a conversation.

Surely, she would regret being so stubborn with her sister, the person she loved the most.

Why?

**Because that was the first second of the last thirty-three seconds of her life.**

It all started with the entry into a curve. And the train lurching from side to side, as if it was going faster than it could go.

_37... 36... 35..._

And Katie looking at her sister with a raised eyebrow, because she didn't understand what was happening.

_28... 27..._

And the people restless in their seats, to see that every time the train was faster and more unstable.

"What the fuck." Said Katie, staring around.

_17... 16... 15..._

And the Coldplay song playing, and Emily fixing her eyes on the mysterious blonde girl to see her, looking so worried.

**And then it happened.**

_10... 9..._

And people screaming. And she lost her balance to see that the train fell sideways, and her sister screaming her name. "Emily! Emily!"

Nothing.

_6... 5..._

And she felt the blow and the pain. And she thought that it was going to be so fucking scary but it really wasn't.

She couldn't feel anything at all.

And her, trying to breathe. And the mysterious blonde girl, just feet away from her, lying on the floor.

_4... 3..._

"EMILY!" And Katie screaming.

But her eyes on that blonde girl.

_2... _

And brown met blue until everything was black, like in all the dreams she used to have.

_1..._

And then - just then - _**she was gone.**_

[...]

_**"This wasn't what I wanted! This, THIS was what I feared."**_

_**"... I guess that you were so afraid to die and you didn't live at all."  
**_

...

**A little bit of mystery :)**

**What do you think about it? I would love to have your feedback, as always.**

**I'm off, see you soon.**

**#Marv**


	2. No feelings

**A bit of madness never feel bad. Never. In addition, I am posting this because the wonderful SpanishLily has begun a new story and has updated 6 chapters in a row, and OK, I am not THAT crazy but I updated two chapters of this today. Then maybe I won't update anything in a month, but who knows... anyway, you should go read 'WHEN YOU FIND ME', you won't regret it! In the meantime, here is Chapter 2 of this madness:) **

**Disclaimer: Skins not mine, nor Mark Twain, nor Coldplay. But it would be awesome, yeah.**

_**...**_

_**Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. **_

_**The world owes you nothing. **_

_**It was there first.**_

_**- Mark Twain -**_

**Part I: Coincidences.**

"If you could see everything, it should hurt a lot. But it really doesn't."

**II: Seeing everything. Feeling absolutely nothing.**

She remembered the last feeling that had passed through her heart before the debacle started.

Before the beginning of the end.

She remembered that it had been as a mixture of the strongest drugs of all history.

Fear, curiosity, warmth, anticipation, the way she sweated through her body - and even her heart -, the way her eyes couldn't help but stare at those two enormous brown pools (just because they could disappear and she didn't want that to happen), the ache and finally and as cliché as it sounds, the crush.

She should be scared, because as much as she remembered those little things, she couldn't feel them.

But she wasn't.

In fact, she sat there on the roof of that train - and this may sound odd, but the train had crashed and bounced and turned around twice, so it wasn't odd at all - and she thought that she would love to have a beer between her hands, or a glass of Vodka, a cigarette, a spliff...

**SOMETHING.**

But it was useless. Because she did not need any of that and her body wasn't demanding anything. And her eyes were fixed on her lifeless body, which was half wedged between one of the drawers of the roof and a crashed wall. And the amount of people crying around and she could not feel anything at all.

(And she should be scared but anything meant anything and the fear was included in that _'anything'_).

So she just sat. And she hugged her legs with an arm and stared around, playing with her peroxyde blonde hair with her right hand and when she saw that her fingers felt absolutely nothing, she sighed.

"Fuck's sake." She rolled her eyes because she knew that it was a good situation to roll the eyes, even if she wasn't feeling it. Then she stood up and listened as someone cleared his throat. She turned around to see a teen boy, who was staring at her curiously. "E-excuse me, do I know you?"

The boy smiled. "Well, if you've lived in Bristol for the past five years, there is a huge possibility. By the way, I am JJ."

She shrugged. She knew that she should feel uncomfortable but she obviously didn't. "Naomi." She replied, offering a handshake.

He shook his head. "Useless, I can't feel your hand."

She stared around again, and she discovered that when everybody was aching, crying or desperate, they just were there. So calmed. And as she knew that she was dead, she knew that JJ was, too.

JJ knew what was she thinking so he replied. "23rd April of 2010, car's accident."

"Should I say sorry?" She said, unsure.

He just shrugged. "I don't think so. Things happen, I may say. Anyway, nice to meet you Naomi. I'll see you around, I guess." He said, smiling and passing through the nearest train wall. She couldn't believe it so she went to touch that wall to see that, obviously, her hand could pass through it, too.

"Shit." She passed through the wall and when she was outside, she could see ambulances, more people walking and screaming... but she couldn't find that JJ.

And it was a fucked thing, because she had so many questions to ask him.

Then, she remembered that the last thing she saw - when she was alive, of course - were those brown eyes. And the last thing she heard was the name of that girl.

"Emily..." she mumbled. God's sake, she wanted to find her. She needed to find if she was OK or not.

She entered again on the train and went to the place where her body was laying, and she stared at her belongings that were strewn on the floor.

When she looked up from the ground, she saw that a few meters away a girl who looked a lot like Emily cried and cried. She went there, without effort because her body wasn't crashing into anything (and again, it should be a weird feeling but it wasn't, even if she was thinking that it was weird). She tried to touch the girl's arm but she stopped when she was near. She just stood there and saw that the girl was grabbing a hand. "No..." She murmured, staring at her right to see that Emily - the incredibly gorgeous redhead girl who made her feel the last things she was going to feel, probably, ever - was laying there.

Dead.

"As much as you look at her, she will not live again."

She turned around to see another girl, staring at her. "And you? Who the fuck are you?"

"Mandy." She just said, shrugging and staring at her. "I've been trying to talk with her but she was like dumb or something. You should try it, but. She hasn't stop staring at your body."

"W-where is she?" Naomi asked with a loud voice, and the other girl pointed behind her. The blonde turned around and that's when she saw her, staring at her with absolutely any feeling on those brown pools that she loved once.

OH no, Emily...

And she wished, really wished, that she could feel something. A tiny thread of light or any fucking thing.

When she turned around again, that Mandy had disappeared and she just opened her mouth, trying to say something but she didn't, and Emily stood by her side.

(And maybe Emily didn't want to talk with that Mandy, but she truly wanted to have a talk with her, because that was the first thing she did).

"Funny, eh? I mean, ten minutes ago I was staring at you and... well."

And the first time Naomi heard her husky and broken voice, she knew she should have felt a stream up her spine, because Emily had a really beautiful voice.

Unusual, but beautiful.

She could recognize beautiful things, at least.

She replied without staring at Emily, because those brown eyes weren't shining anymore. "I'm Naomi."

"Emily."

Naomi nodded. "Yeah. I know. I heard your sister, before... well, before that."

The redhead stared at her. "You can say it, you know? Because we are dead and I can feel absolutely nothing. Even with my sister, that is right there crying and she can't see me anymore."

"It's sad."

Emily shook her head and stared at her. "Bollocks. It should be sad, but it isn't."

"But it isn't." Murmured Naomi, repeating Emily's words. "Still, nice to meet you, even if the situation is not the best."

The redhead knew then, that Naomi was being sarcastic. She smiled, because sarcasm used to make her smile. "Likewise." She said. "The ambulances should be here soon."

"Yeah, they're outside. But I think that we can't do anything about out bodi-" Emily stared at her sister and Naomi understood, then. "OH."

"She's crying in pain." Confessed the petite girl, staring at her twin sister.

Naomi shook her head because she disagreed. "No, I think she's crying for you." Emily shrugged, then. "You look so alike."

"My twin sister." Confessed Emily, staring at her sister. "Her name is Katie."

Naomi nodded and then they saw two people with medical stuff entering on the train.

Their little peace was broken.

Then, more people, and suddenly they were moving Katie, who shouted and said that they couldn't leave Emily right there.

But Emily just stared.

"It's crazy." Said Emily. Naomi agreed completely.

That was when Emily turned around and Naomi raised a brow. "Where are you going?"

"To the hospital, obviously." She said.

"But your body..."

Emily shrugged. "My sister's more important right now, and she has an ugly cut on the leg so... well, it's...nice to meet you, Naomi."

And Naomi didn't hesitate a fucking bit, no, she didn't.

"C-can I come with you?"

[...]

The ambulance was absolutely silent. A doctor gave her some painkillers, because the wound that Katie had on her leg was really ugly and it was getting dark.

Naomi just stared at the doctors that were trying to calm her, and Emily was resting her head on Naomi's shoulder.

(And again she wished. She wished to feel a little bit. A tiny spark. She wasn't feeling anything at all again).

"It looks pretty bad." Emily confessed, staring at her sister. "If Katie regained some consciousness right now and saw what the doctor has done with her trousers, she would be so fucking disgusted."

Naomi stared at those cracked trousers. "Why? Were they special?"

Emily shook her head. "No, but they were so expensive. She's too posh."

"You look so alike, but you don't seem to-"

"That's because we aren't. Or we weren't, whatever." Mumbled Emily, staring at her sister.

That's the first time Naomi heard the quote she was going to hear the most coming from Emily. "I really wish that she could see me. Or hear me. Or something."

And she stared at her, because she didn't understand it at all. "But you are dead." And she used the word 'dead' because she could, because it didn't hurt.

"But I'm fine."

Naomi raised a brow. "Are you? Because right now I'm '_nothing'_."

Emily shrugged. "It's fine to think that it could be worse, I guess."

And the blonde was surprised because she was fucking dead, it couldn't be really worse. Emily broke her thoughts again. "I could be there, in that stretcher. I could have a huge wound on my leg and I could be aching, but I'm not. And I could be crying because Katie could be dead, but thank God she isn't. And I could be alone here, staring at my sister while she is complaining about everything but you are here, with me, so it could be really worse." Naomi smiled because it was a good moment to smile. "And I know I would be so grateful right now, but well..."

"Yeah, you can't feel it." Emily raised her shoulders, apologizing about that as if she were guilty. "It's not your fault."

Emily passed her hand throught her forehead. "Were you alone on the train?" The blonde nodded. "What were you doing there?"

"It's kind of funny." Naomi recognized. "Because I was on that fucking train by coincidence." Emily stared at her with curiosity. "I live, or well... I lived, in Dublin. There wasn't direct flights to Dublin and I was in Bristol because my best friend lives there, I just was visiting her because I was so sick and tired but my boss called and I needed to arrive to Dublin as soon as possible."

Emily stared at the floor. What a fucking casualty. "Sorry." She said, staring at Naomi.

The peroxyde blonde stared at her, too. "No, you aren't."

"Well, I would be sorry if I were alive. Is it enough?"

Naomi couldn't help but smile, and she wasn't sure if she was truly smiling or she was just doing a weird face like a loner but she tried to really smile.

"Of course it is."

[...]

They were sitting on the roof of the hospital, watching the sunset.

Emily knew her parents and James had arrived to the hospital and for a weird reason, she couldn't stand being in the same room with them.

The truth was that Naomi could have gone, but she didn't and Emily 'felt' strangely grateful.

She looked at her Casio wrist watch for the first time since the accident and she saw that the glass was broken, and also the watch had stopped at 10:31 A.M.

She thought that surely that was the time when she had died and she swallowed, while Naomi leaned her hands on the railing and swung her feet.

"My family doesn't know."

Naomi said. She couldn't even feel the wind and she thought about the fragility of life. Everything was so fucking fragile...

Emily crossed her arms over her chest and watched the last rays of sun of that cold January day, illuminating the buildings of Reading, the city that was closest to the accident.

"It will come out in the news." Emily tried to alleviate her, even knowing that Naomi couldn't feel anything.

Naomi sighed. "My mother is not the kind of person who lives glued to the TV."

"They might have called her." Naomi closed her eyes, trying not to think about it. In her mother's face.

The peroxyde blonde turned around, to face Emily. "That's not the point, isn't it? I mean... **we're dead, Emily**. Dead..."

Emily rested her hands on the railing and looked at the sky. "Do you know all the possibilities that we had? We haven't stopped finding spirits, today. Fuck, j-just... imagine that there would have been nothing. Imagine that death was the end."

"I do not even know if the day is cold." Muttered Naomi.

Emily put her hand on the blonde's shoulder and turned her around, pointing to the street. "People is wearing long coats and putting their hands in their pockets. Of course it's cold, even if you can't feel it... you haven't vanished like dust, neither have I." The petite redhead stared at her. "I know it's not enough."

"Of course it isn't."

"But..." Emily said, so sure. "We'll be there. And I have so many questions, as much as you do."

Naomi stared at the streets and frowned. "Questions like..."

Emily put her hand over Naomi's hand and though she couldn't feel their hands, that were mingled in a space vacuum, she stared at that union.

"What would have happened if I'd plucked up the courage to stand up and tell you that my name is Emily. That I couldn't stop looking at you at that train and maybe, just maybe if you weren't scared by my stalkerish attitude, maybe you'd want to have a coffee with me, because I swear you were the most incredibly beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life."

It was a good time to smile. "Damn destiny, don't you think? Because maybe I would have said yes. I would have loved that."

Both looked at each other and Emily smiled awkwardly when she saw that Naomi had a half smile on her face. "Quite a shame... but hey, it seems that we have all the time in the world ahead. And don't worry about your mother, I... I'll be there. Is that okay?"

The blonde nodded. "But... if you don't remember, I don't worry about my mother. 'Cause I cannot."

"Yeah." Said Emily, staring at those hands and passing her thumb through Naomi's knuckles. "I know."

[...]

**Call it magic**

**Call it true**

**Call it magic**

**When I'm with you**

**And I just got broken**

**Broken into two**

**Still I call it magic**

**When I'm next to you.**

**Please, tell me that I haven't scared you too much, so you can continue reading this.**

**Reviews? You know I'm so grateful :)**

**#Marv**


	3. What hurts the most

**Let's continue with this madness. Thanks to the people who reviewed/followed/favorited this, I love you all :)**

**Disclaimer: meh.**

**_..._**

**_Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them._**

**_- George Eliot -_**

**Part I: Coincidences.**

"She's gone, fuck..."

**III: What Hurst The Most.**

'No... no, no, no!'

Effy grabbed the edge of the table and dragged it, stamping the furniture against the wall with brutal force.

The crack was so strong that her mother poked her head from the kitchen. "Effy, what are you...? Effy..."

She remembered perfectly the only two times she had cried in her life.

The first time she was just eight years old. She was at school and she used to be a cheerful and happy little child. Her best friend was called Wayne, he was a nice guy. He always gave her candy bars because his parents were the owners of the most enormous candy shop in Bristol, and Effy always went to his house to do her homewor; she loved him in a very innocent and very childish way.

Tony (Effy's brother) one day decided that he did not like that Wayne, so he filled his bag of the worms that he was using on his science's project. Wayne never talked with the Stonem siblings again and she cried for an entire week.

Then she became that quiet and observant little girl; her smiles were no longer innocent and pure, her smiles became more macabre.

She became the mysteryous and mischievous Effy Stonem with just eight years old.

Nine years later, Effy cried again. She was 17 years and during that age, she was used to fix her shit with alcohol or weed. It was easier that way.

What she didn't expect was that his father appeared in her house so angry and shouting out loud... all she could hear was the word 'divorce'.

She cried, as if she were again that little and innocent Effy. She cried and cried, and Tony wasn't there.

She drank and smoked as if her life depended on it.

That night she cried again. She was 21 and she could not prevent the tears that were falling through her cheeks, while she was watching the news on television. It couldn't be true...

"Tell me what's happening, honey..."

Her mother hugged her and cradled her in her arms, and Effy cried and cried Effy and the words couldn't leave her mouth. She had a huge lump in her throat and her mother took a look at the TV. Then, her face went white. "OH Effy... babe I'm so sorry... OH my God..." She kissed Effy's head several times and she hugged her daughter, without taking her eyes off the TV. It was horrible.

Horrible and devastating.

"It's so unfair, mum... so much..."

Anthea nodded and wiped her tears so lovingly, with her thumbs. The truth was that she didn't know that Naomi so much, but when Effy was with her everything was better, so she liked her even without knowing how she was.

Naomi had that quality. She was so funny... that blonde brought a lot of good things to Effy and for Anthea, her mother, it was a good thing because she missed that sweet and innocent Effy. That little girl.

Effy couldn't speak, couldn't think, couldn't do anything at all. For hours, she let her mother comfort her until the night came and Effy ran out of tears.

The mascara was all spread across her face and her eyes were red and puffy. Her nose wrinkled to hold back the tears and she had a broken handkerchief in her hands.

The TV was off, why keep watching that disaster again and again? When she saw Naomi's picture between the victims, she couldn't stand it.

That was the longest night of her entire life.

[...]

Maybe Effy hadn't had to do anything that hard in her whole life.

Cook was sitting by her side, on that couch. They were in Freddie's shed; Freddie was a good friend of them (well, friend... he was something more to Effy when they were young) who died so many years ago in a car's accident. Cook inherited his shed and he and Effy covered all the walls with pictures: Naomi, JJ, Freddie... damn group of friends they were, it seemed like death was following and chasing them wherever they were going.

"Fucking shit, huh?" He said, puffing a spliff. "The best people always leave, Eff... I can think of a thousand reasons why I should be dead and 'ere I am."

"Don't you even dare to joke about that." "Effy said in a whisper of her voice.

He settled back on the couch and put his hand on the back of the girl. "Babe, I can do this..." Effy stared at him and shooked her head. "I don't want you to torturing y'self. This is not your fucking fault."

The girl stared at the floor, unable to move. "If Naomi hadn't come to visit me, maybe none of this would have happened and-"

"Stop it, fuck's sake!" Said Cook, visibly angry. "Effy, we can't avoid it, dammit. Shit happens... we are just unfortunate and fucked up people, that's all. I don't want you thinking about that again, 'kay? Now, give me the fucking phone..."

She had to smile, seeing him so angry. For her... it was great. He had always been there for her. Always.

"Someday you'll stop being an arsehole, right?" She muttered, handing him the phone.

He shrugged. "Maybe, who knows... you love me this way."

It was completely true.

Cook dialed the numbers that separated them from the worst bad time in their lives, and Effy didn't hesitate to take his big hand and squeeze it. They had to do it together, she thought, and the tears were beginning to crowd in Effy's eyes again.

The phone stopped beeping and they heard the atmosphere sound of the place they were calling. /"This is Gina Campbell, hello?"

Cook closed her eyes and Effy gulped, squeezing his hand. "G-Gina, we... we're Cook and Effy."

/"OH! Wow, what a big surprise. Are you looking for? Because I know-"

And he spilled it out. He was the strongest of them and he said it, staring at Effy and nodding. And Effy knew that she wouldn't stand that if she wasn't with him.

The tears of Naomi's mother broke them, as if the tears were swords through their young bodies. Cook put an arm around the waist of her best friend and he left her cry there, buryied on his chest.

He said useless things, things that however, Effy needed to hear: that everything would be fine.

Perhaps, the only thing left was Cook.

[...]

Effy hugged Gina tightly, burying her head in the woman's shoulder, tears forming in her eyes again. "I'm so sorry Gina, I'm so sorry..."

Oddly enough, it was Gina who comforted Effy that morning in the morgue. Cook was behind them and he joined the hug, feeling a great sadness inside his chest. That was all. They had seen Naomi's body and her mother had decided to burn it.

Gina spoke some minutes later. "I know this is what Naomi would have wanted, at this moment. We three, Kieran... my daughter was a intimacy's lover, huh?" She said, wiping some of her own tears. "I would love to have known her better. To have helped her more in life, to have been a little more mother sometimes..."

"Gina..." Said Kieran, putting his hand on her shoulder.

She sobbed whilst speaking. "Isn't it true? I d-didn't even know she was in Bristol, fuck's sake." Gina was being truly sincere, and her husband squeezed her shoulder. "T-the truth is that I do not know where she would love to rest eternally. I don't know... and I would love that you, her two best friends, you'll do that."

Effy looked down and again, Cook was the bravier.

"Sure. Of course we will, Gina."

[...]

Abbots Pool was one of those places that left you breathless of what magic it was. Effy watched as Cook rolled a joint while she fixed her hair and finally she stared at the lake, smiling. "No wonder why Naomi adored this place."

Cook lit the joint and took a long drag, exhaling the smoke and taking a look at the lake, with a big grin on his lips. "Yeah... beautiful, innit? Our blonde has always been a lil' bit mystical..."

Effy stared at Cook and sighed. "Do you think this is a good place, Cookie?"

"You know? I think Naomi wouldn't give a shit if she'll end up in an abandoned and grubby factory if we are with her, Eff."

The brunette smiled and stole the joint from Cook, taking a short drag and coughing. "Fuck..."

"Hey... easy there." The boy rubbed her back and she frowned, throwing a stone into the lake. They both sighed and Cook passed his arm through her waist. "This is the perfect moment, don't you think?" Effy nodded, so he took the small wooden box and gave it to her. "I know she would prefer you to do it."

"Don't be a twat, she loved you as much as yo-"

He smiled and shook his head. "I love that you are telling me that, babe, but you were like sisters after all, so... come on."

She drummed her fingers against the wooden box and she sighed slowly. "Just... thank you, Naomi."

And she opened it so slowly, and Naomi went away with the wind.

The sunset was becoming night and Cook rubbed his hands against his trousers, from the cold. "We should go, babe."

She stared at her. "Just... give me another minute, OK?" Cook nodded and kissed her forehead, lovingly. He got in the car and Effy took a look at the lake again.

"I'll... I'll miss you. And I'll see you soon Blondie, don't think you're going to get rid of me that fast."

The silence made her smile and Effy turned around, getting in the car and putting her hand on Cook's shoulder.

"Come on, Cookie."

And they left her in the place where she belonged.

**The lovely lake.**

...

**I know I'm becoming an angsty bitch but it will be worth it :)**

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	4. The pull and the gap

**A/N: Just thanks to the people who reviewed this :) Nothing to disclaim today.**

**_Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live._**

_**- Henry Van Dyke -**_

**Part I: Coincidences.**

"If we can't feel again, we'll have to pretend. Or to learn. Or whatever."

**IV: The pull and the gap.**

"It's a lovely place."

Naomi closed her eyes as she heard the sound of Cook's car, leaving the lake. If she would have been alive, she would have cried like a little girl. She couldn't, and she touched her eyelids with her fingers.

Absolutely nothing.

"The first time I came here I was thirteen." She confessed, running her fingers through the ground just to feel the mud on her fingers and she sighed when she couldn't. "I thought I was lost, I was riding my bike and well... this place became my hideout. When I was pissed off or just tired, I used to come here. When I needed to think... you know, that stuff."

Emily nodded. "It seems a nice hideout."

"And it was." Naomi said, sitting on the lake's shore. "At least... well, I like the place where they have thrown me."

Emily sighed and sat by her side, untying her shoes and leaving them aside. Her bare feet touched the ground and she was even more disappointing when she couldn't even feel the soil moisture. "My family probably will bury me in a cemetery. My mother is rather religious."

The blonde stared at her. "Where would you like to be if you could choose, Em?"

It was becoming a nice habit for them. The truth was that it had been four days since the accident, and while Katie was recovering herself in the hospital they had witnessed that whole process.

They stayed together all that time, and they were starting to learn things. For example, Naomi knew that Emily liked when the people called her Em, so she started to call her Em.

Probably Emily didn't like it anymore, but why not?

"Somewhere in London, I suppose."

The blonde nodded. "I've never been there, but it seems a special city."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "Really? Like ever?" Naomi nodded again, without staring at her. "OH, I have to show you that city, then. You would have loved it."

"How do you know?"

The petite redhead smiled and put her jacket's hood on her head. "You told me you liked special places and London is full of them."

Naomi smiled, too. "It sucks a lot. I could have known you a few years ago... " She sighed and looked at the lake. "Aren't you afraid?"

"About what?" Emily said, grabbing her jacket sleeves and squeezing them, as she often did when she was alive.

"What if we forget everything? The things we liked, the things that made us laugh or mourn..." Naomi asked, staring at her. "I don't want to forget it, even if I can't feel it."

She did not want that, either. Emily did not want to forget how it was, to feel. She truly didn't. "I don't know. I don't think that it will happen, that's all."

"I always thought that if I died, I would end up understanding death."

The petite smiled. "Sligthly pretentious, don't you think?"

Naomi opened her hand to see how the wind was passing through her body, as if there was nothing to stop it in the path. "And you? What did you think, about death?"

"I was terrified of death." Murmured the redhead, staring at the lake.

"Well, you're already dead." Naomi said. "Rating?" Emily smiled and stood up, leaving her on the lake's shore.

Naomi stood up almost by inertia. If someone asked her why, she hadn't the faintest idea, but she couldn't be far from Emily. She couldn't have her that far. The little redhead also realized the same and she went by her side, quickly.

Neither of them said anything, and they began to walk to the nearest road, Emily swinging her boots in her right hand. "Not that bad, I guess."

"I'm not such a bad companion, I see." Admitted Naomi, and Emily stared at her. "What?"

The petite girl shrugged "You were a very sarcastic girl, am I wrong?"

"No." Naomi sighed. "You aren't. It was my best quality, I suppose. That, and the fact that I was so fucking smart."

"Right, because having blue eyes and peroxyde blonde hair doesn't help at all." Muttered the redhead, staring nowhere. "By the way, why that color?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Why redhead?"

"Because I was sick of my sister, basically." Said Emily, staring at that orange sky. "I wanted to make a difference."

"By your hair." Emily nodded. "You know that this thing about changing your look to feel better is useless, right? Because if you're one of those girls who follow the fashion magazines' advices, I don't know...perhaps it will let me down a little."

The redhead rolled her eyes. "Cut the crap, Nai. It won't, you can't be disappointed. That's a feeling."

"I used to have some criterion." Replied Naomi, smiling.

"Well, I died redhead so if you don't like it... I don't know. Buy me special dye for dead people or something."

Naomi looked to her right and sighed. That redhead was really sarcastic, as her, and yet Naomi couldn't think of a better traveling partner.

"Peroxyde blonde because I like things that shine and I was a natural brown-haired girl. That's all."

Emily had to smile. She was learning to smile when she found that things were nice or funny. She couldn't feel them, so she just had to remember the things she used to find 'nice and funny'.

And it was working, yeah.

[...]

They walked for hours until they arrived to Bristol and when they reached the center of the city, they both went into an old building. "Why are we here?" Emily asked, going up the stairs with curiosity.

"Well... your family lives here, so do Cook and Effy, so... I thought that we could stick around for a while." She said, passing through a door and into a kind of huge art room.

Emily smiled slightly and saw all that she had around. There was so much unused artwork and Emily walked around the place, taking a look around.

"It is an abandoned art gallery."

The petite raised her eyebrows. "I have lived here for so long without knowing that this place existed."

"Sometimes we wander through a place having no fucking idea what's around, right?"

Emily nodded, understanding what Naomi was saying. For some strange reason, she wasn't too happy with the idea of Naomi thinking that she was 'someone too usual'.

And without being happy about it, she couldn't be sad.

'Naomi...'

Naomi turned around, hearing that strange voice calling her. Emily looked at her, puzzled. "You OK?"

The blonde put her finger on Emily's mouth because she was hearing that voice again.

"Have you heard that?" She murmured, and Emily furrowed her brow, shaking her head.

'Naomi... Naomi...'

"Again." Naomi said, walking toward that voice.

Emily grabbed her by inertia, as if she were completely bound. "I can't hear anything."

"S-someone is calling me."

'Naomi... Naomi... Naomi...'

The voice came from somewhere else and Naomi turned back, putting her hands on her ears because the sound was becoming annoying.

A huge beep made Naomi sit down and gourd her ears with her hands so strongly.

'NAOMI...'

The blonde started to shake and a worried Emily knelt, putting her hand on Naomi'a back. "E-Emily, shut her up..." She whispered.

'NAOMI... NAOMI...'

The little redhead held her while Naomi was trembling in her arms, not understanding what was going on but she wished that Naomi, really, were right.

Suddenly, someone opened the door so loudly and Emily gasped, raising her eyes to the door and meeting a woman who was staring at her.

"Shit... it has already begun."

[...]

Emily leaned her back against the wall and stared at the strange woman who was grabbing Naomi's hand. It was very rare but the woman woke some confidence on her, and although she had no fucking idea why, she let her be there. She couldn't stop looking at Naomi, who was still trembling.

A few minutes later, Naomi blinked and opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling.

"Damn..." she murmured, and Emily stood up and walked toward her, completely worried.

"Girl, believe me. It could've been much worse." The woman saw how Emily hugged her tightly and the blonde sighed in her arms. "Now that's a surprise... God, how many fucking days have you been dead?"

The blonde stared at her defiant and hugging Emily tighter.

"I'm not your fucking enemy."

The redhead looked at Naomi and nodded. "It's OK, Nai. She has been taking a look at you when... well, whatever that was that." She murmured, and the blonde looked at her. "Don't worry, OK?"

Naomi nodded and stared at the strange woman, who was smirking and smoking a cigarrette.

"W-what the hell just happened?" The blonde suddenly said, never taking her body from the little redhead.

"The gap and the pull." She just said, and the girls stared at her. "God's sake, you don't have the slightest idea... I will have to call Sally, then."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "Who is Sally?"

That was when and old lady appeared behind with a cane in her hands.

**"I am Sally."**

**[...]**

**↓↓↓↓?**

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	5. And you lost and they learn

**The next one! A little bit short but this story is so fucking hard to write, so apologies :) And thank you for your support, as always lovelies.**

**Disclaimer: I own a weird mind.**

**_When you're dead, you're dead. That's it._**

**_- Marlene Dietrich -_**

**Part I: Coincidences**

"Beep... beep..."

**V: And You Lost (And They Learn).**

Her head ached as if a truck would have crushed violently against blinked many times but all she found was dusk and an annoying beep, so she looked around and saw that she was connected to a couple of machines.

Of course she didn't think that she was in the hospital, at first (and she actually felt like she had been sleeping for a long time without resting too well).

When she regained some consciousness, she noticed that her hand was tightly clutching another hand and she just squeezed it, without really knowing who that person was - as Katie Fitch couldn't see anything.

"Fuck..."

Katie noticed long arms hugging her tightly and she tensed, without knowing to whom they belonged. Breathing deeply, she wasn't relaxed until she heard the voice of her mother. "OH my God, my poor little girl!"

She closed her eyes and sighed when her mother began to cry desperately. "Mum, I-I'm fine. Where's Emily?" But her mother held her tight and continued crying in her arms. "Mum..."

"It was s-so horrible..."

"Where is Emily?" She asked, somewhat desperately.

And her head ached a little more, and some questions raced through her head as she was recalling images of the day of the accident.

Her mother hugged her more tightly and continued to cry; then, she knew. Katie Fitch's face turned completely white and she swallowed as she felt a tear trickling down her cheek.

"N-no..."

[...]

That older woman, named Sally, stroked her brow, thinking about what had happened some minutes ago. It was kind of funny... Emily couldn't stop hugging Naomi strongly and yet her face was completely expressionless.

"Can you explain to me how are you feeling, Naomi?" The blonde shrugged, staring at that old woman.

The other girl was turning on and off her lighter, resting het back against a wall. Emily looked at her and for some reason, her arms tightened more strongly against Naomi.

The old woman chuckled. "You are not very comfortable, I see."

"Y-you two are alive." Murmured Naomi.

The young girl snorted, slightly bored. "No need to be very smart to realize that, honey."

Naomi frowned and the old woman sighed. "Franky, can you just wait outside?"

"B-but..."

"OUTSIDE, NOW."

The young girl snorted and looked at the ceiling of the gallery. "Fuck it... I still don't not know why the hell I'm doing this," she said before walking out the door.

For some reason, Emily was slightly relaxed when the young got out of the gallery, and finally she fixed her brown eyes in the old woman

"Emily Fitch and Naomi Campbell, am I wrong?" They didn't answer and the woman smiled. "I don't know why I am asking, it's clear that you are."

"E-excuse me..."

Emily tried to ask her something but the woman cut her. "Worst case of 'the pull' I have ever seen in all my life, and believe me, I'm almost 70."

"T-the Pull?" They both said at the same time, confused.

The old woman just nodded. "Yeah... an invisible bond, as a spiritual glue. Don't worry, I don't understand it but fuck... isn't it fascinating?" She said, trying to pass an arm between the girls and noticing that she couldn't. "And strong. Completely strong, God,

I have noticed your energy from the door."

Emily sighed. "Sorry, but we don't understand what are you talking about."

The old woman just smiled again and nodded, standing up and walking around the gallery. "When a person dies, becomes energy. As huge balls of light, you know? And some energies are attracted to others like magnets... that's the pull, but it's strange... your energies are mixing, you are like one person. I can't get near you without your energies radiating violently." Emily stared at Naomi, who looked surprised. Usually, the most powerful energy of 'The Pull' absorbs the other until it fades away. It should be that way, you know? But your energies are in total and complete harmony."

"And that means..." asked Naomi.

The woman just smiled warmly - she seemed genuinely glad, so Naomi decided that she liked her. Emily just stared at her. "That if you have care, you're going to have a long, long stay in the world of the dead people. Congratulations." And she stood up, walking to the door.

Emily shook her head. "W-wait!" The woman turned around and the petite redhead swallowed. "Just... what have happened? With Naomi, I mean."

"OH, that... the gap. Periods in which the energy is so intense that it becomes uncontrollable, so you will feel everything strongly. I doesn't happen too much, maybe once a week or... sorry. I can't talk so much about it because I really don't know, but just... try to be together when it'll happen." Said the woman, grabbing the door. "And by the way. You've never seen me. Neither me nor Franky, understood?"

When the two girls nodded, the mysterious old lady grinned wickedly. "Nice... be careful."

And then, she left the gallery.

Emily sighed and closed her eyes, and Naomi stared at her - slightly worried.

Once she had been in touch with feelings again - it had been half an hour with a horrible headache and a feeling of terrible despair - she was really worried. Concerned for her, for Emily and for finding uncontrollable that thing that Sally, the older woman had called 'the gap'.

"Are you OK?" Asked Emily, fixing her eyes in Naomi's blue pools. The blonde nodded and the petite redhead just relaxed herself. "Good."

"You shouldn't be worried." Murmured Naomi, and the petite redhead just shrugged. "You didn't fake it, did you?"

"I-I thought that something was happening and... I was worried as fuck. I don't really know how, or why, b-but..."

The blonde smiled. "I am OK, Emily. Really." A long silence filled the gallery and Naomi just stretched her 'body' on the floor, staring at the ceiling and smiling. "We have to learn to control this."

Emily furrowed her brow. "How?"

Naomi shrugged. "I would like to know... but hey, just think about it. They are alive, Emily." The petite girl raised a brow, staring at her with disbelief. "If they can see us, maybe someone else could."

"Do you really think it's possible?"

"I don't really know, Em." She admitted, staring at the petite redhead. "But it's worth trying it. We'll just have to find it out."

The petite girl shrugged and Naomi decided to caress her hand with her thumb, knowing that they wouldn't feel anything.

"...OK. We'll find it out."

[...]

Her father helped her to get out of the car, holding her with one arm. Her brother James took the crutches from the trunk of the car and he gave them to Katie, who was unfazed. The truth was that since she was aware - and she knew what had happened to Emily - she hadn't spoken even once.

She arrived to her room with the help of her father and when she sat on her bed, resting her leg fully bandaged and sore - she took a look around. There were so many things of Emily and she couldn't help sobbing, tears running down her cheeks.

The image of her sister, dying by her side as the train collided and spun, was going to accompany her during a long, long time - and it was tormenting her mind.

God, it was going to be so difficult...

(Or at least, Katie Fitch thought so).

[...]

**See you next time :)**

**Reviews here ↓↓↓↓ (they would be appreciated).**

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	6. Million Voices

**This is me having a massive writer's block. Sorry for this shitty chapter. I don't own skins but I want to. **

_**Jusqu'a n'etre plus rien**_

**_Que l'ombre de tes nuits,_**

_**Jusqu'a n'etre plus rien**_

_**Qu'une ombre qui te suit.**_

_**- Patricia Kaas -**_

**Part I: Coincidences**

"When we were young, she was always telling me that she could hear voices, and fuck; I never believed her."

**VI: Million voices.**

Saturday night, in the great city of Bristol. The month of January was almost finished and Naomi and Emily had learned that 'the pull' was nothing dangerous - in fact, they always tried to stay close, not because they were afraid to fade or something like that, no... but the thing about the energies and the magnets was true, and they couldn't be separated at all

The gap, however, was the least pleasant feeling that they had ever suffered. In fact, the first time that Emily suffered the gap - just four days after Naomi's one - it was devastating.

*Flashback*

They were spending the afternoon at the lake, because Naomi wanted to visit it to get some perspective. They had decided to see if what Sally had said was true: there were people who could see or hear - or contact, whatever - with the dead people.

And Naomi knew quite clearly where to start.

"I never believed her." Emily stared at Naomi, who was trying to make patterns and drawings in the mud with her fingers but didn't have much success. "I just, you know... I never liked spiritualism at all. When your best friend tells you that she can hear voices..."

"You are really haunting yourself with it, don't you?"

The blonde stared at Emily and just shrugged. "I just thought that she was having problems with drugs and-" then, Emily's face went white and Naomi furrowed her brow, worried. "Emily?"

"I-It's h-happening." She murmured, hugging her own legs.

That's when the little girl started to sweat and tremble violently. Naomi just pulled her to her chest and hugged her. "N-Naomi..."

"Shhhht, come on." The blonde cradled her while Emily began to mourn in her arms, and she only whispered words of encouragement in her ear until she saw that Emily's trembling ceased slowly. "Good... everything will go fine, I'm with you."

Emily let out a huge sob that was hidden in her throat, and then she sighed. They both were silent for a few minutes until Naomi spoke. "Tell me you're OK" She just murmured.

The petite redhead stared at her and just hugged her close.

*End of the flashback*

After that scary episode, they experienced some other gaps (but they were softer, way softer), and they learned that if they remained together, anything bad could happen.

Anyway, they talked about Effy Stonem. A lot. She was the girl who could hear voices, and if she was right... Naomi was even nervous - even if she couldn't feel those nerves physically - and she just wondered, because at the end, they decided that the first person they were going to meet was Effy Stonem.

And that brings us back to that cold Saturday night in the great city of Bristol.

That night, surely - and without them knowing at all - would be the night that changed their whole future.

Maybe there was hope; at least, Emily really wanted that.

[...]

"I-I think you shouldn't go out tonight, Effy."

But Effy Stonem didn't listen to fucking anyone at all, especially not her mother. And of course her mother was right, and it was not healthy to depend on a bottle of alcohol to scroll through the days, but what the hell could she do? Death pursued her, that was clear. First Freddie, then Naomi...

The brunette just lighted a fag and sighed, crossing her arms on her chest. When her mother did that, it pissed her off so fucking much, and she couldn't help but think that she didn't need that.

Because Anthea Stonem didn't give a fuck about her daughter since Tony, her older son, fucked off.

So she just stared at her, cooly. "Don't." And obviously, Anthea had to look at her, raising an eyebrow. "Don't pretend you worry, it's been a long time."

"Effy..." she said, worried.

The brunette stood up and grabbing her purse, she left her house without saying anything at all. Anyway, she was Effy Stonem and in the end, she would do whatever the fuck she wanted to do.

She started to walk through the streets with her fag between her lips, noticing that the city she used to love was becoming a cold and dark place. She knew that Cook wasn't going to be there, that night, but she didn't mind at all - she needed a fucking night for herself.

Just some time to think; by herself.

The thing she didn't know was that two shadows were following her through that city, and that time, they didn't come to haunt her.

[...]

"It's her, right?" Naomi just nodded, without staring at her. Emily chuckled and Naomi raised her gaze, surprised. "I-It's nothing, really. I didn't see her at all when we were at the lake, and now... it suits you."

The blonde stared at her best friend and just shrugged, and suddenly she didn't feel so sure. What if Effy freaked out? What if...

God, Naomi was starting to be so fucking nervous, and Emily just grabbed her hand, squeezing it. Naomi couldn't feel it but she stared at the petite redhead. "I really have to do this alone..."

"Everything once." Said Emily, nodding. "It will be fine... and if it won't, I'll be right here. You know that, right?"

The blonde nodded and thought that she knew. Of course she knew.

[...]

Effy leaned against a wall and grabbed her Vodka bottle, taking a long sip and noticing how the booze was burning her throat. The blonde leaned back against the wall, too, and stared at her girl who used to be her best friend.

All her makeup was scattered by her swollen face and shr looked like she had been crying a lot. The brunette closed her eyes and lighted a fag and Naomi could just stare at her. She didn't know if Effy could see her at all, so she just gulped and bit her lip.

"You've never been a shy girl, Blondie."

And Naomi, then, just smiled.

[...]

**Effy is crazy (and you know).**

**I'll try to be back soon :)**

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	7. The more, the merrier

**My mind's wicked. This is crazy. Girls just wanna have fun. And I know this chapter will be shit (or no, who knows) but thanks for your lovely feedback. DesolateMoondust, your review just made me happy, and I love The Foreground :) Oh! And thank you Lils because you said that this story is good enough to continue with it - and you know that I disagree, and you are probably biased because you're my friend, but thanks anyway sweetie.**

** Disclaimer: Skins is Skins**

* * *

_**Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death.**_

_**- Annie Lennox -**_

**Part I: Coincidences**

"I really hoped so; and it happened."

**VII: The More, The Merrier**

[...]

"Can you see me?"

Effy took a long drag of her cigarrette and she just shrugged. She was some drunk and she didn't know if she was having an hallucination or if she just could see her. God... it was so good to hear her voice, to see her messy blonde hair.

It was magnificent to know that Naomi was there, even if she just was in her mind - possibly.

She nodded at the end, because there was no point in lying. Naomi smiled, then.

"I've missed you, you know? This city is somewhat boring without you, Nai." Confessed Effy, taking her last drag and throwing the fag away. She grabbed her pack and offered one to the blonde.

"Wish I could smoke, Stonem. The death isn't as funny as it seems."

Effy chuckled, not believing her. "Bullshit. By the way, aren't you gonna introduce me that redhead who is staring so weirdly at me?" She said, pointing with her finger at the little girl who was some meters away.

The petite girl smiled when Naomi stared at her and asked her to come where they were, so Emily went there and sighed when she arrived to the place. Effy smirked, nodding. "Ah, I get it." Naomi stared at her, raising an eyebrow. "Muff-muncher, then?"

Emily frowned. "None of your fucking bus-"

"Emily, let me handle this." Said Naomi so calmed, grabbing her hand. The petite girl just stared at her and nodded. "You look angry."

"I am so fucking angry." Said Effy,staring at them. "It's not fair, and if I wouldn't have called you, you wouldn't have been in that fucking train."

Naomi shook her head. "Stop this crap, Eff. You know, it would have happened someday, everybody has to le-"

"YOU WERE 22, GOD'S SAKE." Said Effy, desperate. "A-and Freddie and JJ were just 17. I-it's not fucking fair."

"Have you seen them?" Asked Emily, somewhat worried.

Effy raised an eyebrow and stared at her. She couldn't help but chuckle again. "Quite a character you've chosen to-"

"She hasn't chosen me." Said Emily, deffensive. "And I hadn't chosen her, but for a fucking strange reason, we are glued like magnets, so if you don't like me..."

"I haven't said that, have I?" Replied Effy, smirking.

Naomi and Emily smiled then. It seemed that Effy Stonem was still the same fucked up girl but she could see then.

And she liked Emily - and that was nice.

"Nice to meet you, by the way."

Emily nodded. "Likewise."

[...]

The art gallery was a place quite nice to have long conversations, but obviously, when Effy arrived there, she lay on the floor and fell asleep so quickly.

She was drunk, so that was predictable, and Emily and Naomi just spent those hours staring at her - and the way she was breathing - and they couldn't help but envy her a little.

"Don't you miss it?" Murmured Emily, and Naomi stared at her. They were sat on the floor, their backs leaning against the wall and Emily was resting her head against Naomi's shoulder - even if they couldn't feel anything, it was nice.

It was just so nice.

"That question isn't fair at all." Replied the blonde.

"Why?"

"Because if I wouldn't have been in that fucking train, I wouldn't even have met you?"

Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. "You're dead, Naomi..."

That's when the blonde stared at her and confessed something that was on her mind since the first time she met Emily Fitch.

"You make me be like if I'm not dead at all."

[...]

When Effy opened her eyes, the room was already dark. She clenched her nose and sighed, rubbing her sore neck and crackling it carefully - along with her muscles, because she was so fucking knackered.

The light from a streetlight streamed through a window and Effy saw that Naomi and the strange redhead - her name was Emily, she remembered - were in the same position, without talking at all. It was strange, because they had their hands intertwined in a very strong way.

Almost powerful.

Effy wondered if that could be possible. For God's sake, they were dead! They were... dead. The word was still so painful.

She blamed herself for all those years when she thought that she was so fucking crazy - hearing voices and seeing things... she was always worried about it, even if she learned to live with that.

No. Naomi and Emily were real and they were there. She wasn't crazy, she... what the fuck she was?

Effy hugged her knees and stared to the floor, the gallery was cold enough to do that.

"We've been thinking." Naomi said, suddenly. Effy stared at them again but she didn't say anything - because she didn't need to, really. And Naomi knew her enough to know that. "We kind of need you. Emily has a twin sister and she needs t-"

Effy shook her head and muttered, slowly. "I don't want to do that."

"I wouldn't ask you anything if it wasn't important Eff-"

And the brunette guessed that she could, at least, listen the things Naomi was going to say. And she did it. And they seemed so fragile, so... so empty, that Effy had to accept it.

She nodded, then. And Emily smiled, because even if she couldn't feel absolutely anything, she knew that it was a good moment to smile.

[...]

Three days later, Effy and the two girls were waiting at the door of the Fitch's house. The brunette was smoking a cigarrette, cooly, and Emily and Naomi were just intertwining her hands - a silly custom that they used to do those days.

Emily thought that she would feel something, that moment. The moment where her father opened the door and looked at Effy, quizzically.

"May I help you?"

Effy was already fidgeting when she cleared her throat to reply that, and she just sighed. "Yeah... well, actually I'm here to see Katie. Is she here?"

Robert Fitch just nodded. "Katie, love! There's a girl outside asking for you!" He said, swiveling his neck and staring again at the brunette. "Give her a minute, she'll be there in a moment."

Effy nodded, and she didn't know why but she was nervous, so she cracked her fingers nervously and tossed the cigarrette away. When Rob got in the house again, Effy stared at Emily, who just sighed.

"She can be so disgustingly slow when-" but she stopped talking because Katie appeared on the door and stared at Effy, raising an eyebrow.

Realizing that Katie couldn't seen her... Gosh, it hurted a lot. Even if she couldn't feel it, it somewhat hurted and Naomi squeezed her hand, reassuring her.

"Yes?" Asked Katie, crossing her arms on her chest and furrowing her brow.

Effy just sighed, completely stunned about that girl. God, she was... she was really beautiful. Blatantly beautiful.

"I'm Effy. Well, Effy Stonem." She said, shyly.

The older twin sighed. "Can I know what the fuck do you want or-"

"It's about your sister, Katie. I..." Effy sighed. "I need you to come with me."

[...]

_**Et pour les mecs comme moi,**_

_**Vous avez autre chose à faire hein **_

_**Vous m'auriez vu hier; j'étais formidable, formidable.**_

_**Tu étais formidable, j'étais fort minable.**_

* * *

**I'm having a little obsession with the French language, but if you haven't heard Stromae's last EP you should.**

**Till the next one**

**#Marv**


	8. Beliefs

**Hi. Sorry for the delay. Lots of work. Fun Comes Dressed In Black. Love is cool.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, and you all are pretty awesome. A lovely kiss from me, myself and I.**

**...**

_**Baby I can find you**_

_**Down this broken line**_

_**Maybe you can find me**_

_**I guess we'll know in time**_

_**- The Common Linnets -**_

_**...**_

**Part II: L'amour et la solitude.**

"Breathe... breathe."

**VIII: Believe**

"You know? I don't really know your sister... I've met her like four days ago, in fact."

Effy leaned her body against the closest wall and lighted a cigarrette, cooly. The truth was that she wasn't trying to impress Katie Fitch, in fact she was really impressed by that fierce girl. She seemed brave, improper... and that wake something weird inside Effy's thin body, that was obvious.

Katie? Katie just narrowed her eyes when she heard her. "Piss off - that's impossible."

"So it seems..." admitted the brunette girl. "But she told me that your favorite dessert is the strawberry cheesecake that your grandma makes. That you love dancing, that you're obnoxious," she added, fixing her bluish gaze in her.

Katie held her breath and, avoiding her eyes, she shook her head. "I-I don't know why the fuck I agreed to talk with you."

"... but I don't think you are obnoxious. I think you aren't coping well with her loss and... and well."

The petite girl rolled her eyes. "You don't have to be fucking Einstein to know that."

Effy smiled. God, she was really hard but she liked it a lot. "She told me that 'fuk da gnu pops' meant 'kick his balls' and that you two said that too much because your brother was horrible... and she told me too that you always pretended that Jenna's food wasn't edible but actually, it was-" but Katie stopped it, because she couldn't stand it at all. That girl was really freaking her.

"Y-You're starting to scare me."

The brunette just sighed. "Look... I didn't want to do this but Emily asked me to. I just... I don't want you thinkin' that I'm crazy because, fuck, I know it's crazy."

And Katie swore that she was really trying hard to understand her, she really was! But she couldn't. Why the fuck that girl knew that much about her? She even thought that Effy was a stalker, a intruder... but when she stared at those blue eyes, she felt somewhat relieved.

Effy Stonem seemed inoffensive. "C-Can you just explain me 'how'?"

"Em..." And Effy bit her lip and stared at the floor, because the thing she was going to say was hard to explain and to understand. "I kind of see them."

"Them?" Asked Katie, confused.

"Yeah, Emily and..." and talking about Naomi was horrendous still, so she just avoided Katie's gaze and continued. "And my best friend. She died in that train, too."

Silence had always scared Katie Fitch, but she was really speechless. She busied herself staring at the floor and counting the huge ammount of butts that were tossed on the floor, trying to relax and to concentrate in Effy's words.

'Her best friend was there, too...'

"... I don't know what to say," mumbled Katie, without looking up.

And Effy sighed again - it definitely wasn't the answer she was needing to hear. "I haven't come here to make you believe me, Katie... she just wanted to tell you that she's OK, so... well, I gotta g-"

Suddenly, the petite stopped her. "N-no! I mean... d-don't go. If you can really see her, just... just tell her that I miss her," because she didn't believe it at all, she didn't, but what if what Effy was telling was truth? What if... "That I've been an horri-"

And then, Effy dropped a bomb.

"She's here, Katie. She actually CAN SEE YOU."

[...]

Emily shook her head but Naomi reassured her, caressing her hand and sighing. Katie was running away, and Effy looked defeated. She tried, she tried hard and... and Emily would be upset if she could. "She'll come," Naomi said.

Emily just sighed. "Do you really think so or it's this fucking bond that we hav-"

God, it was hard...

"Em..."

Emily stared at her. "She's my fucking sister, Naomi... an incredible sister, by the way, and she's... she's blaming herself. I... I can't stand it-"

[...]

Katie thought about it. A lot, in fact, and it was kind of impossible. That Effy Stonem was crazy, yeah, that was all...

The thing she didn't really expect, was to find Effy waiting for her and sitting on the bench that was in front of her house. "What are you doin' here?"

Effy looked up and she fixed her blue eyes in Katie's frame who gulped... that Effy could be SO intimidating. "... Emily told me that when you receive an overexcess of information you usually act like a bitch or run away."

"LOOK," Katie just sighed. "You need a fucking psychiatrist."

And the brunette had to laugh, because in spite of Katie's bad mood and bitchy temper, she recognized it. That selfdeffense, that way to protect herself... she liked it too fucking much. "And here is your bitchy side..." she stared at her, harder than ever. "Do you think you are the first person who tells me that, Katie? Do you think I care?

Katie furrowed her brow. It was time to yell at her."WHY are you trying to HELP ME!?"

Effy just shrugged. "Because Emily wants to, and Emily and Naomi are sticking together and-"

"EMILY IS DEAD, YOU FUCKING LIAR! SHE DIED, GOD!"

And then, the silence was justified (and Katie's redemption was really devastating). Effy could just mumble. "Y-Yes, she is. But her spirit is-"

The petite girl sighed again and turned around, starting to walk towards her house. "This is a fuckin' nonsense."

But at the end, Katie couldn't help but stare at her just one more time. She didn't know why, but she just had to. Effy stood up and fixed her blue gaze in Katie's brown eyes. "I am just going to say you one more thing. Just one. Now I have to go, and probably you won't ever see me again so... I'm not lying, OK? And that's all."

And Katie didn't say anything, but she nodded. She nodded and when she entered at home, she let out a huge breath and rested her back against the door.

She just knew one thing: Effy Stonem was **the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.**

[...]

**I think I love Katie Fitch more than I should.**

**I'll be back, cuties. I promise.**

**#Marvstuff**


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